Family ~ Holidays

We made it to my sister Julie's for an afternoon and evening. My nephew Daniel and his wife Lindsay were home from Hawaii (They are stationed there). Daniel returned from Iraq two weeks after Jay was deployed. It was nice to be with the family, We missed my niece Christina... as she is having Christmas in the Canary Islands.

Jay was able to Skype with us while we visited. Daniel and Jay talked Army. I learned more than I wanted to about Andrew. I did not realize that after Andrew returns from basic and AIT that he will be training for Afghanistan. deep sigh... Daniel and Andrew will be at Ft. Benning at the same time, while Daniel goes to ranger school.

Lindsay and I were able to talk... ARMY too ;-) She shared with me how the last 2 months of Daniel's deployment, were the most emotional for her. It felt so good hearing that because as you can tell... I have been a wreck the last few weeks.

"Grandma"

Isaiah 46:4
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

We went up to St. Paul, to visit my mom. It has been awhile since we have seen her. I knew it was going to be difficult visit; her health has deteriorated in the past few months. Once we introduced ourselves she seemed some what familiar with us. Her eyes lit up once she saw the kids, and she commented on my hair, she liked my scarf, She told me I had a big mouth, lol! (I was talking too loud) I told her I got my big mouth from her... She LAUGHED. Mom still has her sarcasm and humor.

I told her that it was really hard for me to see her like this... she paused, turned her head and was emotional... Mom was "with me". She was unable to carry on a conversation however; I could say one sentence and she could follow me for a few minutes, then her head would lay back as she curled up into the bed. When she saw Tyler, she said, "oh my he is big... how much does that boy weigh"? I laughed once we left and Praised God, that she didn't ask me that question. :-)

Reign warmed up to her after a little bit and referred to her as grandma. The sound of "Grandma" coming out of her mouth, warmed my heart. Reign will not have any grandparents alive once my mom passes away.

As most of you know, My dad lived with us the last 6 months of his life. If I could I would move her in, However it is just not an option. The boys learned so much while grandpa lived here. I cherish those moments.

Christmas Eve Afternoon ~ a little lady

The Eve of Christmas Eve. Reign and I made a turkey, "BOOKMARK [Reign called the uncooked turkey a shark] I love 2 year olds, love their perception on life, end of BOOKMARK" we also made a few more Christmas cookies and snacks to carry us through the Holidays [just encase] we were snowed in.

We did venture out Christmas Eve, afternoon to join My Army Wife Friend, and her family for lunch. It was nice to meet her family in person...

The "One" that tugged on my heart strings, was an elderly lady that was there; She has Alzheimer's. My heart ached for her... It seemed as some really did not know how to respond, maybe embarrassed; some didn't even know she was there. I just wanted to hug her and bless her... [crying as I type this] It was very emotional for me. I LOVE and miss working with the elderly. It does not matter their mental condition... I have a new respect for them, honoring them in their latter years. I have learned so much from this people group and treasure their wisdom. One thing that I noticed about her and others that have Alzheimer's [if they know Him] they DO NOT FORGET... Who Jesus Christ, IS. She referred to her Heavenly Father most of the afternoon. Lord, bless this little lady... (tears) deep sigh...

We made it home in time to try and shovel the MOUND of snow in our driveway. Snow blower is broken, Andrew had been up since three o'clock that morning shoveling snow for work. He was exhausted. Tyler injured his shoulder weight lifting, so he is in a lot of pain. Caleb tries and works so hard, and me... well, shoveling and my level of lung function just does not mix. We decided that we were not going anywhere to soon and the snow defiantly wasn't going anywhere, so we came inside for some Hot chocolate.. well, at least I had some hot chocolate! :-)

Our Skype… Christmas Eve

In Minnesota it was 6:00pm. The boys eagerly moved the Christmas gifts from the living room to the computer room. In Iraq it was 3:00 am. Jay got up extra early; he walked over to the computer lab; to have Christmas Eve, with his family via Skype.

2 months ago I thought I could not handle opening gifts over Skype, I cried just thinking about it, and thought it was too emotional. Jay, and I talked about it and we were going to wait to have Christmas, for when he came home. As the weeks went on… I was getting stressed out about ‘CHANGE” My OCD was kick’n in and the change was more stressful than the thought of a Skype Christmas.

The computer lab wasn’t too busy; we were able to have Jay, to ourselves for almost 4hours. It was nice to have him “here with us” while the kids opened up their gifts.

Jay and I had a few minutes alone… face to face on the computer, just staring at each other, satisfying, the visual senses. Missing each other like crazy… more torment than anything… UGH!

Jay usually will call me every night … just to say goodnight. We do not have much time on the phone. His schedule is very busy. After we Skyped he called me and tucked me into bed… He is so sweet. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!

The T-shirt..

Early in the deployment I sent Jay a half used bottle of my perfume. He told me that he sprayed it in his wall locker. When he opened his locker he could smell me… deep sigh…

Once Jay, went back to Iraq, after his leave time. I slept with one of his gently used t-shirts. After awhile it didn’t smell like him anymore… Guess what that man did? He sent me a gently worn Army t-shirt, sprayed with his cologne. I have kept that t-shirt in the baggy, in my top dresser drawer… un-opened, until Christmas Eve….I should not have done it, the tears came like a flood!

Christmas Day:
I made our annual Christmas morning breakfast, and the children awoke to the smell of bacon and eggs. I was a glutton for punishment… while Reign napped and the boys dispersed, I watched the movie “The Notebook”. The LOVE and then meeting that little lady yesterday… OM Goodness! Talk about a wreck?! :-) its all so good though…. He bottles them all up, and it is so healing to cry. I knew it was coming. One can only hold back the tears for so long…

Be blessed this Christmas, hug those little old ladies and LOVE your spouses. Don’t hold BACK….

"The Wives Who Wait".

Twas the night before Christmas
And there all alone
I saw a young woman
Who sat by the phone

For what was she waiting
On this holiday night
Where were the stockings
Christmas tree, lights?

I saw one little tear
As it rolled down her face
And she curled up in a blanket
Then looked round the place

Something was missing
Someone not here
In her face I saw sadness
Did I also see fear?

I paused and I wondered
What could it be?
That would cause a young woman
To look so lonely

How could anyone so precious
Choose such a life?
Then I realized this woman
Was a soldiers wife.

Her gift for this Christmas
Is to hear that phone ring
“Hey baby, I miss you
Don’t worry about a thing”

Each day I thank God for the soldiers that serve
Ever willing to fight and lay down his life
But how often do I ever remember think
About the young woman who is that soldier's wife

Thank you God for these women
They are just as strong
They sacrifice daily
And without help get along

So God please protect our soldiers
On this holiday eve so late
And give an extra hug
To their wives who wait

written by Jeannie Lining, during OEF deployment 2008

Sleigh Ride

Today we went to a Christmas Party for deployed soldiers, families. Caleb, Reign and I went on a sleigh ride with real reindeer... Reign love it!

Tyler's Turn :-)

Tyler was reading the blog and stated he felt left out...

So for my middle son... the 17 year old, my right hand, dependable, strong, honest, God loving and fearing young man... I. love. you. words cannot and never will explain how much you mean to me. This deployment has been a heavy load for you to carry and you have carried it with pride and strength. You have taken on roles that most youth your age could not handle. I am very proud of who you are and who you have become...

Muah Hugs and Kisses to you!

Tyler read this entry, before I posted it. I asked him if he feels better now, he gives me a smirk and says yep! precious even at 17!

Moving containers, containers and more containers

The wonderful non ending line of shipping containers = one day closer to Jay coming home!

General Nash

Here is a picture of SSG Harmon and General Nash. General Nash is the General that is leading this mission in Iraq. Some how he is related to the president of our American Legion Club. General Nash remembered that Jay lives in the same community as his family. :-)

When Jay and I were in Seattle, we ran into General Nash, at the PX. He stopped and shook our hand, seemed interested in meeting me, and stood and talked with us for quite sometime, about a whole lot of nothing (that meant a whole lot of EVERYTHING to us). He then said, "well don't let me interrupted your time together, you don't want to be talking with me... ah HELLO?! We were ready to have dinner with the guy and hang out!

In Iraq, the General slapped Jay on the back to say "Hey Harmon, how are you doing? "after the steak dinner Jay, met up with him for a quick photo...

Basketball Season

Caleb has started basketball... he has been doing great with rebounding and lay-ups. He is a natural just like Jay, and the boys! The LC Wildcats, have played four games thus far and are undefeated. We really miss dad's voice in the crowd, encouraging Caleb, and yelling at the coach and refs. It's kinda funny for me to see other fan's reactions to Jay's yelling when in fact that is not his normal personality. He is a lover not a fighter... except when HIS BOYS are on the court or field... then watch out. :-) I love that man, I cannot wait for him to come home!

During today's game, there was a man standing near the exit of the gym. from Reign's view he looked liked Jay. She tugged on my shirt and asked me..."is that my daddy?" I tried to ignore her, as I wiped a tear. Again, she asked, "mommy is that my daddy?" The gentlemen in front of me could hear our conversation... I almost started crying, I gently told her no, daddy is working in the desert. He will be home soon!

deep sigh..... :-(

The "Sisterhood" of the traveling "National Guard"

As Jay was getting ready for this deployment, I earnestly prayed for ONE, GODLY, CHRIST FOLLOWING, ARMY WIFE, and FRIEND. God is so faithful of course, he granted that request. He sent me ONE... I think the "BEST ONE".

I remember seeing her sitting across the table at the third FRG meeting. She seemed a little nervous, bold, eager to absorb her surroundings, cheerful, confident, she had a contagious smile, and she was constantly talking about JESUS... WHAT? I could not believe what I was hearing! NOT ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE LADIES THAT LOVES GOD? Could it be true? I asked her for her contact info, I called her a week later, telling her; "I NEED to get out of my house, and away from my kids before I hurt someone". I'm sure her first thought was, "I need to clean my house", too bad, there I was... at her door. We did not waste anytime. Our conversation went straight to HEART issues, the best conversations in the world. I love relationships like this... nothing to hide, we bared our heart and souls from 6pm until 1am. It was a "sisterhood" connection right from the start. We have so many of the same interests, it is almost scary... besides Jesus, deployed husbands, children of the same age, and similar house decor... we LOVE Cherry Coke!

The guys however, had never met and they worked on opposites ends of the base. While Jay was home in July, we were on a walk through Le Center, She called me concerned about a few new changes she had noticed in her hubby. I asked if Perkins sounded OK? and at 10pm at night... off we went. The guys were finally able to meet.

Our meeting was just a few days after the 3 MP's were killed on base. The guys talked and talked and talked... My friend and I just looked at each other and realized... Our Army men need each other... not just OUR men, all of the Soldiers. We decided we needed to make every effort to get the "guys" together after deployment... so they can talk, and we can listen.

I Praise God for His faithfulness, and sending me my... "Dex"
Oh, I almost forgot we have gone JEAN shopping.... just to tie in the sisterhood thing, wink! wink!

Family..

I figured I have been putting plugs in for the Army Wives, Church Family, Homeschool Group.. and Rebecca, she is in her own category.. of (BEST FRIEND) I owe a THANK YOU to our family!

Since Jay's mom's passing... Jay's sister Joyce, has taken that role for Jay. Probably in more ways than she realizes. Traveling up north to see her during Jay's leave was healing and relaxing for him. He tells me every time she sends him a letter or care package in the mail... it truly is a blessing to have Joyce in Jay's life. The letters that he receives from Joyce, are like GOLD!

The two Julie's... Harmon and Strot were instrumental in me being able to attend Tyler's football games. Thank you for taking care of Reign when I needed it. I think she can finally discern which Julie is which. My sister for your shoulder... I absorb your wisdom and patience and a slap on the cheek every once in awhile.. as needed! :-) My sister in law for writing to Jay and keeping him up to date with your family. Jim, for updating Jay with e-mails... He tells me everytime he gets an email.. It means that much to him!

Christina, for listening and praying with me over skype... distance is not a factor!

Everyone has special gifts and abilities to contribute... I am amazed how He knits family and friends together for his Glory!

This deployment is not over when Jay gets home... we will be beginning a NEW SEASON of DEPLOYMENT. We covet your prayers and patience!
Blessings

The Panel

When we were at the FRA this last weekend, there was a panel consisting of a deployed soldier, his wife and another female soldier. The male soldier and his wife shared how he has changed the most during this deployment.

Before deployment: He was very social and loved family gatherings. Since his return he is withdrawn from family functions. As he talked he shared how he would rather get together with soldiers from the unit that he was deployed with, than family or friends. As be continued, he shared about when they get together with family and friends at home; it is always a hundred and one questions. It is not just one question. It becomes several and then an entire story. He shared how it is exhausting to answer all these questions and he simply chooses not to enter into this situation. He feels most comfortable being with friends that share that commonality of being deployed. No questions asked, he can just BE…

I shared this with a friend of mine, for her it was no different when her child was going through chemo, one develops bonds and special relationships during that season.

Hmm… I’m not sure how Jay will or will not be when he returns, but I can identify with this soldier… It IS comforting to be around people that understand. I never thought this new Army life would open doors to so many new relationships.

FRG FRA 0901 STP MN

Got to love those acronyms!

We spent last weekend with our ARMY FAMILY: The Johnsons, Nickelsons, Paulsons, Meiers, Carrons, Schmidts and the list goes on...

We are getting ready for REINTEGRATION

Friday afternoon started out with bowling with the Home school group in Shakapee, then we took Reign to my sisters house in Bloomington for the night, and off to St. Paul we went. We checked in to the Holiday Inn. Everyone brought something to share for a potluck and the kids went swimming while the wives visited!

Saturday was a busy day: Several organizations in St. Paul got together to prepare a meal for the Soldiers and their families (a steak dinner). It was all held via satellite from St. Paul to Iraq. We were able to see Jay and a few other friends as we shared a steak dinner. It was emotional to see Moms holding up their new born babies, so daddy could see them. We made it through singing Amazing Grace and listened to Miss Minnesota sing the National Anthem. whew! My sister brought Reign to to the River Center around 1pm. We skyped with Jay and then registered for Sunday's conference. We got our FREE tickets to the science museum and we were off and running again... It was neat to see the Titanic exhibit. Once we made it back to the hotel, the teens decided they were Hungary. CHINESE!! and off we went again. This time looking for Chinese. It was a lot of fun!

Sunday I checked Reign into the daycare area and began a long day of classes. I would have to say that I did not learn anything "new", however the classes confirmed what I already "knew" and that was a good thing. It was nice to bond with the Army wives. It was hard to leave... the weekend went way too fast.

We are gearing up for Jay's return home, I have so many mixed emotions. Another new season our family will be going through. We listened to a few soldiers and families share their experiences about "the homecoming" and I can relate with them, deep sigh...

Continuing to walk in His Grace...

Christmas Cookies

Reign, helped me bake several sugar cookies. She enjoyed mixing the dough and rolling out the dough and eating the dough. She was so patient and followed her instructions very well. I had a moment with the Lord, while Reign had her little hands in the cookie dough... I just started to cry and Praise Him for this precious little gift. A gift that I waited 17 years for. God is faithful and he does give HIS CHILDREN the desires of their hearts. (writing this in tears this morning) deep sigh... The Lord is so very very good!

Asthma

ER, nebulizer, albutrol, prednisone, z-pack…I feel like a JITTER bug. Except, now I CAN BREATHE PTL!

Now off to the pharmacy for meds and prayer.. Not too many people can say that their pharmacist prays with them.. Gotta LOVE that girl, best friend in the world!

I have been sick off and on with this stupid asthma thing for the last month and a half. It seemed to begin after I started working out. :-( Perhaps exercise induced, not sure. cold weather induced.. I have been using an inhaler each day up until last night, the inhaler wasn't cutting it. Andrew took me to the ER and the rest is history.

I read once that asthma may have a spiritual root with a fear of relationships. You may agree or disagree. However I DO NOT typically have ASTHMA. I do get congested when I am around cats. The only other time this has happened was last year, when Jay was getting ready to deploy. Perhaps FEAR of our relationship, him leaving.. now he is coming home.. perhaps some fear of our relationship... They say the the end of a deployment is the hardest.. I guess we will soon find out.

I ask that you pray for my health and the transition of Jay coming home. NO FEAR, and continuing to trust and rest in Him!

My God Reigns!

Black Friday ~

Caleb, and I did venture out to do some shopping. We didn't get too crazy though. The Christmas tree is up and all of the presents are wrapped. We went down town Le Center to see the big hollydaze parade and check out all the Christmas lights in the Courthouse park.

I am trying to teach Reign that we are getting ready for Jesus' Birthday party. I think she can understand it as much as a 2 year old can. She loves to read her Christmas books about baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph.. Oh, and we cannot forget about the donkey! The push button animals and snowmen are also a hit again this year.

Maybe I am getting used to Jay being away, or maybe... simply learning to walk in God's GRACE. Thanksgiving and Christmas do not seem to be as hard to get through as other holidays. We were going to wait; to celebrate Christmas, until Jay came home but he told us NOT to wait.

I think it will be a great day to celebrate the birth of our Savior.

Packing for ~ HOME ~

Jay and several other soldiers in the S-4 section [picture is above] are kicking it into HIGH GEAR. They have 1200 soldiers to get moved out of Iraq in the next 8 weeks or so. He sounds so good when I talk to him on the phone. He seems so close , yet so far away!

Once again he is working 12-14 hours a day! Pray for his strength, energy and rest. I believe The Lord, will supernaturally multiply his hours of sleep in JESUS NAME!

He is receiving Christmas gifts... THANK YOU to all that have sent him stuff in a timely manner! I also sent him his box of letters to open the month of January. He said he will try not to open them until then.

The Le Center Public School has also sent Christmas boxes to the Soldiers in Jay's section. What a blessing the Elementary students have been.

Reign keeps saying, "My daddy come home soon". She then says, "I'm gonna say 'BOO' when daddy comes in the door and daddy will jump and I'm gonna hug him"!