A few months before deployment

A few months before deployment my thought process was…

I’m going pull away from Jay emotionally to protect myself from the pain. I did try to pull away and disconnect. I was on my way to numbing myself when God intervened and saved me from that destruction.

A few months before Jay, deployed I had another “middle of the night encounter”. This time it was not Jesus. I was sleeping in bed and awoke to someone’s right knee on my chest, holding me down. I could feel his left arm next to my head. He then took his right hand and began trying to stick his fingers in my mouth. I started to pierce my lips and force mouth shut, as I flailed my head back and forth. My first though was that Jay was doing this to me and I could not figure out what was going on. After all I had just woken up from a deep sleep. I opened one eye to see a dark green, very muscular figure standing over me. It had two bumps on its forehead and its hands were webbed with little ball type finger tips. Obviously it was NOT Jay. I slowly opened my mouth to allow his finger tips into my mouth and as he did. I bit down with my teeth as hard as I could. I wasn’t scared; I was annoyed and extremely irritated with this thing. It pulled its hand away and swore at me saying “what the f*** did you do that for?” I said back to him; “well get your damn fingers out of my mouth”. We glared at each other for a second and I simply said JESUS, and it was gone.

I know that God was allowing me to experience this for a reason. A few weeks later Jay and I visited a church that a good friend of mine attends. As I shared my experience with her she quickly introduced us to a friend of hers. As we prayed the Lord, revealed the following:

When something is in your bed it usually has to do with intimacy or something with your spouse. This demon was trying to put its fingers in my mouth as if to choke me, stop me from talking and to cut off my communication. My friend felt as though we were dealing with the leviathan demon. I instantly told myself … Really? NO WAY… However I stayed open to whatever God was trying to reveal to me. A few weeks later I had a dream that confirmed this in fact was the demon trying to cause miscommunication between Jay and me. I started to study a little more about this demon and Jay and I had a battle plan. Our friends eagerly prayed for us and since then Jay, and I have drawn closer together. We now make ourselves communicate as often as possible.

We were about to enter a war zone… physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually!
God had given us the plans of the enemy He is defeated and we are victorious in Christ!

I can honestly say I have never felt such pain as I do during this deployment. I never knew that loving someone could hurt so bad and feel so good all at the same time. I Praise God for allowing me to FEEL and I EMBRACE these emotions. I eagerly await our transformation. We both know that we will not be the same after this deployment. Who we are… our family, our marriage will be BETTER and STRONGER because of it.

Jay and I have talked about how we long to be reunited. We cannot help but be reminded that Jesus LONGS to be united with us… His heart aches to have a relationship with us, to communicate and spend time with us. His love for us is so much deeper than a husband and wife share, so much more than we can ever imagine. I beg you, to allow HIS LOVE to TRANSFORM you!